Year of the Knock Off!: Year in Review!
Hey everybody! It felt like it would never end, but 2018 is now behind us and it is now time to do an arbitrary and not all scientific ranking of the knock off films I watched for the blog.
If you want to hear our rankings regarding the films we watched for the podcast, you can check it out here.
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| But at what cost? |
Number 12: Nemesis
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| In the future... it doesn't pay to be boring as f*ck. |
What? You don't recall me talking at length about this Terminator rip-off? You would be right, I didn't. I was so bored by its overly complicated plot and just good enough production to not find any true joy with it, that I decided to add another entry to the Year of the Western! and watch the wonderfully weird Tears of the Black Tiger. So it's 12 on my list because I did watch it and could not be motivated to write about it.
Number 11: Alien Contamination
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| You'll explode from... such a let down. |
This one has some fun bits, but it commits the biggest sin a knock off can do: lose steam in the second half. What was kind of a bonkers Alien rip-off in the first 30-40 minutes (with amazing rat explosions.... for science!), never really built up to anything. The score is still interesting, so points of that.
Number 10: Evil Clutch
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| They don't make film posters like this anymore. Good. |
Credit to the filmmakers behind Evil Clutch, they nailed the Sam Raimi fast traveling camera that zooms along the forest floor to show evil approaching its next victim. And they successfully used the word Evil in their title to tell people that this film wanted you to associate it with Evil Dead. That's about all the positives I can give to this film. Oh, one more thing: a taloned vagina claw. That sentence is better than what the film shows, but at least it tried something weird.
Number 9: Robo Vampire
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| Hobo Robo Vampire is more like it. |
Coming in what likely is the lowest budget film I watched for the blog and the podcast, Robo Vampire has its charms. Trying to mix an aluminum foil rapped Robocop wanna be in with Chinese Hopping Vampires is like trying mix oil and water and Chinese Hopping Vampires together; it was never going to work, but damn if it isn't fun to watch. The plot doesn't make sense and there is no real ending, but this one that I would gladly put on in the background of party just to see how long someone goes without commenting on it.
Number 8: Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone
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| Should be called Plothunter, amirite? |
The first of two Star Wars knock offs I watched for the blog (after we covered the highly entertaining though only because of the southern talking robot in the film, Star Crash, for the podcast) and I was kind of hoping for a hidden gem with Spacehunter. I liked the look of some of the vehicles in it and it has Ernie Hudson and Michael Ironsides in it, so it is not a complete waste. A young Molly Ringwald was too much to bear, though. Her presence wore me out something fierce. I never want to go back to the Forbidden Zone.
Number 7: Explorers
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| We'll just pretend I feel asleep and missed the amazing third act. |
The E.T.ish cash in, Explorers, had the most promise of all the films I sought out for the blog. Successful director, good young cast, pretty good budget. What could go wrong? Plenty, apparently. This film is only two acts and has a tacked on resolution. I can see the potential poking through here and there, but this film fell flat.
Number 6: Bad Dreams
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| Want to not sleep? Go find the .gifs I made during my original review of this film. |
Bad Dreams is not a great film, but holy hell did it surprise me a few times along the way. For a film that literally has no one dreaming it, it still finds a way to be a waking nightmare. From the villian who sets himself on fire (after finding out that the actor had done the same thing to himself earlier in life) to the most gruesome scene involving a knife and a hand I think I will ever see, Bad Dreams might be worth a watch if you want to find out how far out the Nightmare on Elm Street concept can go. Also, the end credit song was an... interesting choice.
Number 5: Saturn 3
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| You will believe a Kirk Douglas can roll around naked with a Harvey Keitel. |
I know, I am shocked this ended up as high as it did too. Saturn 3 swung hard and missed on the 'thinking man's Alien' knock off. It did give us some really nice set design, an amazing deleted scene, and Kirk Dougl-ass. If the robot didn't look so god damn stupid, I might have liked this more. Well, that and if the plot was better, however I am a sucker for isolated in space sci-fi and Saturn 3 has it, somewhat.
Number 4: Escape From The Bronx
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| Should have been called The Rifts, too. |
Hoping that this sequel to 1990: The Bronx Warriors would actually have more in common with Escape From New York than the first film, I dove in with both feet. It was interesting to see an actual sequel to a film that was a knock off of two other films to begin with (in that case, The Warriors and Mad Max). It had the opportunity to get weird with some of the oddball stuff the first film introduced: mainly the tap dancing theme gang named the Iron Men. We see them for a blissful second but then they are taken away to only live in my dreams. Escape From The Bronx is still fun even if NO ONE WANTS TO ESCAPE FROM THE BRONX.
...if only there was a spiritual sequel to this film that had Fred Williamson in it as the ultimate archer badass...
Number 3: Warriors of the Wasteland
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| This poster is cooler than the movie. But it doesn't lie about Fred Williamson and how you should not best mess with him. |
It was a coin flip between this and Escape from the Bronx for number 3, but Warriors of the Wasteland (or The New Barbarians) wins out because it finally leans into the crazy with weird looking cars that all mostly have useless bubble tops and spinning blades or drills attached to them. The smallest of the three Bronx Films, its lower budget and smaller cast makes it a better affair. Also, Fred The Hammer Williamson is the greatest thing in the world. His bow skills are only surpassed by his mustache skills.
Number 2: Grizzly
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| 18 Feet of Marshmallow Wantingness. |
This was almost my number 1 simply because it takes the Jaws blueprint and successfully brings it on land. Grizzly, directed by the same guy who made Abby (a really fun Exorcist knock off that we covered on the podcast), had me excited for what he would do with a little bigger budget. This film does not disappoint. It doesn't shy away from the problems a small rural town would have if a larger than expected bear shows up and starts eating campers during peak tourist season. I would argue that the final showdown between our hero and bear is better in its execution than how Jaws goes out. If you have not see this film, do yourself a favor and seek it out.
Number 1: Message from Space
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| No joke. I love this film. |
As I recently had the opportunity to talk about Message from Space on El Goro's 450th episode of Talk Without Rhythm, stating this was my favorite first time watch in 2018 of a film that was not made in 2018, I had to kind of defend my case. This Japanese Star Wars knock isn't a perfect film. It does suffer from an overstuffed plot, too many characters, and motivations that change depending on what the story needs, but it makes up for all of that with how much heart it has. You can feel the effort and love put into this film. The model work is lights out, the costume design is fun and weird. Their version of Darth Vader is super cool in his own way.The actual space ship... ship (see above) is so silly that it works. My bar was set so low after Star Crash and Spacehunter, that when I stumbled on Message from Space, I thought it was going to be more of the same. It had me grinning throughout. I was worried that some of its charm would fall off the second time I watched it, but I am glad to say it did not. I truly do enjoy this movie, bumps an all, and it is one of the reasons I wanted to do the Year of the Knock Off in the first place. I hoped for gold in them thar hills, and I found it.
That's it! Go home! ...and then come back in like a week when we unveil what 2019 is the Year Of. I promise its going to be fun and just as weird.
