The Year of Cannon: Going Bananas! (1988)

This is actually translates to 'You've Been Warned.'

I hope all are having a good Thanksgiving holiday weekend. May you be full of stuffing, pie, and awkward conversations about politics with distant family members. I figured to celebrate the season, I would do two things: Share with you a video of a Macy's Day Parade float fail, and carve into the turkey that is Cannon's Going Bananas.

First, the day Barney died.

Oh the purple humanity!

Second, the day I died a little while watching Going Bananas.

Oh my sanity!

The story of Going Bananas is that Ben (David Mendenhall, who we just talked about in our episode about Overthe Top) is the son of  a US senator and has been sent on a vacation without the rest of his family to Africa. Accompanying him is 'Bad Bad' Joe (Dom DeLuise), who is Ben's guardian and is always anxious about every single thing... so pretty much why you hire Dom DeLuise to be in your film. As soon as they hit the mainland, they are met by Mozambo (Jimmie Walker) their guide. David, who is the shot caller on the trip no matter how many times Joe tries to course correct, wants to go to see the wilds of Africa and Mozambo is more than happy to take this young child out into harm's way without any hesitation.

The first 1/3 of the film plays out like an attempt at a Disney-esque travelogue with David commenting on all the wild life they see and a cut away to every piece of stock footage that Cannon can find showing African animals. It becomes a loop of David asking Mozambo to stop the vehicle, Joe saying they shouldn't but they do, David and Mozambo walk off camera and talk over stock footage of giraffes or something, and Joe trying to nap or have lunch and being interrupted by an elephant or a lion. Joe freaks out, Mozambo and David laugh, and no one questions the reality that Dom DeLuise was inches away from a live lion and could have been eaten at any time. Hilarity!

This is the first time they actually learn what the movie is supposed to be about.

Soon, David sees a bunch of chimpanzees and wants to go see them. Mozambo and David get close enough to startle all of them and cause them to flee, except for one that gets stuck in some branches. David feels bad for this animal and frees it. Mozambo says they need to go, and David leaves the recently freed chimp to go do whatever chimps do (fun fact: chimpanzees are actually really into accounting and book keeping. This is why the rest of the animal kingdom shuns them). The chimp decides that he is going to follow them back to their vehicle and hitches a ride, as he has taken a shine to David. One thing leads to another, and the chimp causes a ruckus that leads to them crashing into a tree and Joe losing a tooth. He insists that they find a dentist. Mozambo has a uncle that can do it. I won't go into many details here, but they end up at village that is not handled with any sense of cultural sensitivity. Hilarity!

Later, they leave the wilds and head back to the town they had first made landfall in, at first not realizing that the chimp had stowed away again. Joe is aware that taking a wild animal, even if they weren't aware of it, is a crime and they could get in big trouble. David doesn't care and names the chimp... Bonzo.

Kids just love 37 year old (at that time) Ronald Reagan film references.  

Let's stop and talk about 'Bonzo' for a moment. There is a bit in the wonderful documentary Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films in which the story is told about Menaham Golan meeting Clyde the Orangutan (real name Manis), star of Every Which Way but Loose. The story goes that Menaham was pitching a film project involving Manis to Manis, not his handler. People in the room really believe Menaham was trying to sell Manis on the idea of doing a family film for Cannon. The story goes that film was green lit and rushed into production and they tried to use an actual primate to play the role of Bonzo, but that it bit actor David Mendenhall, so they had come up with another solution:

You know that guy in the suit wants to bite him too. 

They put an actor in a primate costume and thus the stuff of nightmares was born. The photo doesn't really do it justice but when Bonzo is in motion it is just terrible. Once I learned that it was Deep Roy in the suit, I felt really bad for him for being saddled with a such a thankless job of trying to make this train wreck of a film entertaining, but it didn't make me hate Bozno the character any less. His antics were made worse when they would add cartoon sound effects to everything. We understand this film is supposed to be a romp, we don't need Yoink! and Bonk! noises every three seconds. We also don't need every cast member to say the name Bonzo every other word. Hilarity!

Meanwhile, there is another plot thread involving Captain Mackintosh (Herbet Lom, from Steve's favoriteCannon film so far this year, King Solomon's Mines), who appears to be in charge of the territory. It isn't made clear but it appears the last vestiges of European colonialism is still in effect here and it doesn't sit well with me how he orders around all of the African locals to do his policing. This is played for laughs and it tries to go for a Keystone Cops or Three Stooges vibe but it falls flat, surprising no one. Mackintosh is crooked and is looking to get paid off to deliver unique animals to a circus that is setup just outside of town. The circus owner is looking for the next big thing that will revitalize his circus. We never know why a circus that is in dire financial straits would be in a what appears to be a third world African nation, but Going Bananas can't be bothered to ask that legitimate question. It has bigger things on its mind, like what if Bonzo can understand English and speak it?! Hilarity!

After a very slapsticky scene in a restaurant in which Joe decides that the best way to hide Bonzo is to dress him in drag and have him sit with them while they dine that soon devolves into a brawl and cakes in faces, Mackintosh realizes that Bonzo really is a special kind of chimp and would pull big money from the broke ass circus...

...And wigs.

*YOINK! SCREAM! SLIDE WHISTLE!*

We learn that Bonzo not only understands English but can speak it as well! And what is his favorite two words? Banana and David. He says them almost as much as everyone else says his name. David, believing correctly that Mackintosh wants to capture Bonzo, escape back to the wild where Bonzo lived. Joe and Mozambo freak out and go looking for David. The movie then teaches us the important lesson: young teenage boys won't survive long with a talking primate in the wild. This is valuable information we all need to know. David, while swinging on vines with Bonzo, wants to 'touch hands' and falls down into a crevice that happens to be full of scorpions. Bonzo eventually saves David by beating the every loving shit out of the scorpions (honestly, I don't think those were fake props that Deep Roy was smashing... maybe he was getting his frustrations over the life decisions that lead him to this moment out) but can't seem to rouse David from his lethargic state. David would have likely died had he not have been found by Joe and Mozambo. Goddamit. The film could have been over right then.

David is taken to a hospital. Bonzo follows unbeknownst to David and the others. Mackintosh finds David and by default Bonzo and captures him. Bonzo is then handed off to the circus and is branded the 8^th wonder of the world as he can talk. David and company aren't aware of Bonzo's capture and have a deadline to get back to the ship to go home.... but wait! There is a parade going through the town advertising the circus. David, Joe, and Mozambo decide they have time to go to the circus before the boat leaves. Once there, they realize to their horror, that Bonzo is the main attraction. They decide that they need to bust the chimp out and come up with the smartest plan in order to do so: they beat up some clowns and dress up like them so that they can get close enough to Bonzo to unshackle him. Hilarity ensues as that does go quite to plan and you end up with an extended sequence involving trapeze artists and someone made up to look like Dom DeLuise flipping and flying through the air. Again, a small credit to this film, the circus work was done by actual professionals and that looked good.

They all escape and run out to a prop driven bi-plane, Bonso gets in the pilot's seat because now that he has mastered the English language, he understands the complexities of manned flight, and they escape with Bonzo buzzing the circus in chaos and the bad guys like he is Tom Cruise in Top Gun. Airtime for Bonzo!

David has to say goodbye to Bonzo because the reality of bringing a large wild animal on a prolonged boat ride back to the United States is not a good one, but that changes when Mackintosh makes one last ditch effort to capture Bonzo. He makes a leap of safety to the boat and then its okay for him to go with David. Hooray? Let's ignore Mozambo is still on the dock and will likely be arrested for the whole circus thing and for running away from the police. But hey, the white people and the sassy talking primate are safe and that's all that matters.

Going Bananas is not a good film and I don't think it was striving to be. It was aiming very low at what is supposed to pass for family entertainment and it doesn't even clear that bar. What was I expecting? That's a fair question and I probably already had a chi(m)p on my shoulder for this thing before I even started watching it. I knew I wasn't going to like it but I was hoping for something that became pure insanity like Mac and Me. It never quite... goes bananas. I will see myself out.

So instead of beating the super dead horse that is this film any further, let's take a look at five moments in film/TV that involve an actor in an animal suit that are more fun than Bonzo:

5.) Left Shark from Super Bowl XLIX

If there was a ever a thing I wanted in my life, it would to be dressed in a large shark costume on one of the world's largest stages and just... do whatever I wanted to. You do you, Left Shark.

4.) Sudden Death Mascot Fight

Sudden Death is great bad Jean Claude Van-Damme film and this is the greatest moment of it. He fights a bad guy dressed up as the Pittsburgh Penguin's mascot, Iceberg. Stop reading and watch this right now.

3.) Ace Ventura Rhino Birth

I haven't revisited Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls in a very long while, but this moment has been forever burned into my brain and I laugh every time I watch it. 

2. ) Nic Cage Bear Punch

The remake of The Wicker Man is not good, but it is batshit crazy. I want to believe that Nic Cage had a clause in his contract that he got to do this. I would watch a whole film of him dressed up as various animals punching people. Hollywood, there is your license to print money.

1.) Bobcat Goldthwait as Godzilla

One Crazy Summer is a very fun and silly movie and underrated. If you haven't seen it, you must seek it out. One of my favorite moments is when Bobcat Goldthwait tries on a Godzilla suit and can't get it off. The escalating problems resulting from this gets funnier, and his response to them, as it goes along.

Parting Cannon Shots

Is this better or worse than The Apple? 

Worse. The Apple was bad but fun and tried to do something. This was bad and tired. I feel bad for Dom DeLuise, Jimmie Walker, and Deep Roy. They all deserved better than this. 

The Menaham Index: 

100%. This is a collision of all his worst tendencies: Not a thought out plot, a gimmick that will attract the kids that is nightmare fuel, comedy that misses all the marks, getting some known Hollywood B level people in order to slap their name on the poster, and a lot of inadvertent (to him anyway) racism. All you needed was terrorist plot with rocket launchers and a tossed off  underwritten female love interest and it would have been almost the perfect Cannon film. 

Would I recommend this film to anyone?

No. 

And here you thought there wouldn't be any gifs in this post. 

If you want to watch Going Bananas after my staunch anti-recommendation, you can find it here: